DAY 099: We should care

November 28, 2008

I WAS HARDLY given any time to wake up this morning before I was asked about going to the “outside” recreation cage. I jumped into my shoes and they must have laced themselves, because not seconds later I was being handcuffed and escorted out! What??? It was nice outside. The weather was cool and a light drizzle had just stopped, leaving the concrete wet. In the cage next to me was a man called “Gato.” That is Spanish for “Cat.” Not sure why he is called that and I don’t know his real name. Everybody seems to call himself some strange name. I want to be called . . . Never mind. Roy will do just fine.

Anyway, Gato is from Central America and he has begun to lose his grip on reality. Sometimes, I think it’s purposely.

I am sitting now, trying to write all of what I was thinking while walking about. I thought of you and this journal. I thought of you because it’s you who reads about what living as a man condemned to death is like and about my thoughts and life. Anybody here could be doing this and his perspective may be different, or his use of this forum. Were it you in my place, what would you say? Hard times… The human mind has an extraordinary capacity to adapt, for the most part. I choose to remain positive, although I have questioned my own strength to continue. I thought that the strength was not in me to continue normally once my execution date was set. For that reason, this blog was created by my friend Juan, so that my friends and one day perhaps my family would read what I was going through. I did not think the strength was in me to continue writing letters as I normally did.

I am fortunate now to have this forum because something has been on my mind and I want to share this with you. Corina, thank you for making me realize this possibility. I read Corina’s comment, thanking me for educating her on issues of cruelty and the need to actually protest this. I would like it if you all looked around our own community, whatever, in the world you may be. There is an important issue of cruelty that I would like to address. Victims of abuse and children who lie in a hospital bed with terminal illness. What can we do about this? Tía Lúz is associated with and has served on the board of an organization that advocates for foster children and victims of abuse. Maybe there is an organization in your immediate community. I recall the feeling of helplessness as a child. Dedicated community members can make a difference. You could also call the local hospital administrator and inquire about volunteering time for an effort to children in need. Christmas is around the corner. We should care.

Throughout the years these kids could use a genuine smile, a caring hug or a joke to make them laugh. I would be time and effort well spent.