DAY 099: We should care

November 28, 2008

I WAS HARDLY given any time to wake up this morning before I was asked about going to the “outside” recreation cage. I jumped into my shoes and they must have laced themselves, because not seconds later I was being handcuffed and escorted out! What??? It was nice outside. The weather was cool and a light drizzle had just stopped, leaving the concrete wet. In the cage next to me was a man called “Gato.” That is Spanish for “Cat.” Not sure why he is called that and I don’t know his real name. Everybody seems to call himself some strange name. I want to be called . . . Never mind. Roy will do just fine.

Anyway, Gato is from Central America and he has begun to lose his grip on reality. Sometimes, I think it’s purposely.

I am sitting now, trying to write all of what I was thinking while walking about. I thought of you and this journal. I thought of you because it’s you who reads about what living as a man condemned to death is like and about my thoughts and life. Anybody here could be doing this and his perspective may be different, or his use of this forum. Were it you in my place, what would you say? Hard times… The human mind has an extraordinary capacity to adapt, for the most part. I choose to remain positive, although I have questioned my own strength to continue. I thought that the strength was not in me to continue normally once my execution date was set. For that reason, this blog was created by my friend Juan, so that my friends and one day perhaps my family would read what I was going through. I did not think the strength was in me to continue writing letters as I normally did.

I am fortunate now to have this forum because something has been on my mind and I want to share this with you. Corina, thank you for making me realize this possibility. I read Corina’s comment, thanking me for educating her on issues of cruelty and the need to actually protest this. I would like it if you all looked around our own community, whatever, in the world you may be. There is an important issue of cruelty that I would like to address. Victims of abuse and children who lie in a hospital bed with terminal illness. What can we do about this? Tía Lúz is associated with and has served on the board of an organization that advocates for foster children and victims of abuse. Maybe there is an organization in your immediate community. I recall the feeling of helplessness as a child. Dedicated community members can make a difference. You could also call the local hospital administrator and inquire about volunteering time for an effort to children in need. Christmas is around the corner. We should care.

Throughout the years these kids could use a genuine smile, a caring hug or a joke to make them laugh. I would be time and effort well spent.  


4 Responses to “DAY 099: We should care”

  1. Elizabeth Says:

    Roy, tell Corina that she can call her local CASA organization. Or go to the Texas Casa website. Judges appoint volunteers to be the voice of a child in court. You have to go through some training but it is worth it. Roy I am so proud of you, We are scheduling our second rosary for you. I like Corina have learned so much about mant things from you. I was always feeling sorry for you thinking you were all alone but to my surprise you have almost half to the world on your side. It’s beautiful. When I start feeling sorry for myself I turn to your weblog and start reading it gives me courage everytime. God Bless you Roy Grandma says hello and to tell you she loves you. I will send you a picture of her.

  2. Isabelle Says:

    So happy to read your journal again, Buddy ! This letter 99 is one of the most moving message you shared with us all. You are so right Roy, we should care about kids, victims, rejected or abandonned people, those whose life has been forgotten or trampled upon. Helplessness is such a sad and painful feeling. You are a very caring person, Roy but this I have known for a long time. Thinking of you very much. Wich much love.

  3. Françoise Says:

    Who can better know what helplessness is like, dear Roy, than the one who felt it as a child? There are so many children all around the world who are exploited, beaten, abused or just “only” in need of affection and tenderness! And not only children. It must be so difficult to lead a normal life after having been subjected to various violence.
    Thank you, Roy, to recall it to us. We all have someone around us who is alone or suffering and awaiting a sign, a look, a word. And not only during Christmas time… Love and thoughts.

  4. Kiki Says:

    Fully agree with everybody!!! How can we call ourselves HUMAN if we have no heart with those who are in a less favourable position than ourselves? But it is as much a blessing as also a responsibility: To help others, to have an open heart and open hand for the less fortunate, to raise hell when needed. We experienced many times that it would have been easier and more convenient to shut up, instead of speaking out, to look away instead of looking on, to make a fist in the pocket instead of starting an uneasy discussion….. it IS a battle and we mustn’t tire of fighting for all things that are important to us and to our personal honour! We experience daily stuff we cannot understand and even less accept; those situations are there…. can we always find the courage to act accordingly to what we learned, to what we know to be right?! It’s an ongoing life long learning curve and education…. Wishing you much strength for your way – and YES – what a touching and beautiful testimonial this is! BRAVO.
    Love and warm thoughts!

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