DAY 089: I will look back and remember all this

 

November 18, 2008 | Tuesday

SEEMS THAT yesterday has run into this day! An officer told me that it’s 2 o’clock (in the morning?). He just brought my mail to me! I am not asleep, obviously. J And it feels like my head touched the pillow for only a few minutes. I really should start to clean because this cell is definitely not going to clean itself. That would be nice, though. 🙂

Good morning. Well, I knew this would happen. I have cleaned the cell thoroughly and I have dumped more than enough water on myself to get clean, but I am still on fire! The pepper spray from the walls and door are my arms, legs and sports on my body aflame! L Worse would be if I had actually been pepper sprayed. I was able to go out and walk around in the recreation cage so it’s not so bad. I will soon be escorted to the shower stall.

Funny how water seems to irritate the feeling even more. You would think that the water would wash it off, but the pepper gets into the body’s pores and you feel it throughout the day. It’s sort of strange to write from where I am today. I am completely enclosed in this cell and somehow a part of me feels as though I am still on Death Watch. I can imagine how they day is beginning over there. The early showers.  Sumo would be in the recreation cage right now. Crazy.

Afternoon: I only now heard that Kat got a stay! Good for him. That only leaves Blake. The odds have always been against us, but maybe he will make it off Death Watch too. Really hope so. I doubt that an execution will ever go by again without me being aware of it. This may shock you, however in the past I have purposely turned my attention away from executions unless it was of a really close friend. It shall never happen like that again. I guess that my thoughts were that it was much easier to not think about it. I just know that an execution will never be the same and I’ll pray for every single one.

An officer has told me that I will be escorted into a temporary cell because the welding crew is going to weld some other additional to the door. I’ll take this with me so that I can keep writing.

OK, so now I am in the temporary cell and the welders’ cart is right on the other side of this cell door. There are three inmates welders and the ever-watchful guard. One of the inmates is measuring lengths of angle iron while another cuts through them with the welding torch. And the others Is grinding away up above me. The noise is realy loud and echoing off the walls. The cutting torch has sparks flying everywhere. It’s hypnotizing. 🙂 Bad on the eyes, to look at the sparks, I know.

Late night: The burning sensation is no almost faded out. Being annoyed by the burning sensation throughout the day brought back tragic memories of when it’s happened to me. I recall how broke my body felt after a wrestling match with the goon squad.  The good squad consists of five men in Kevlar body protection, elbow and knee pads and shielded helmets. Riot gear. One hardly stands a chance and, worse, after they have emptied a container or two of pepper spray on you. Afterwards, the good squad prance around, patting each other on the back, as if they just accomplished the most difficult of tasks, as they laugh. Five men to one. Can’t do much more than pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep walking. For two consecutive days the execution chamber will be denied lives that could have been taken. I will survive all this and some day in the future I will look back and remember all this. The scares and the smiles.