DAY 083: I felt the world next to me…I felt unshackled


 November 12, 2008 | Wednesday


ROUTINES ARE back to normal. Sumo is in the recreation area again and the property officer is in Gigi’s cell. Sitting on this steel bunk, I could hear the squeaking of wheels as she pulled the cart past. I also heard her voice, answering someone about something. She will take his property and empty the cell. Erik Kathy (KAT) will be placed in that cell tomorrow because his execution date is six days away. Denard Mannz (Sha’) is scheduled for execution tomorrow and the camera cell he occupies will be vacated. I will likely be put in that camera cell after. Gigi walked out this morning. I overslept and missed him. The mailroom employee only now left. She came to notify me that a card from Isabelle’s sister, Chesca (Françoise) was denied to me. This employee acted really immature. I asked to look at it and she refused even that. Anyway, I sent it to Juanski. If I get a stay he’ll describe it to me. J [The card is a pop-up card that shows a guy sitting on an easy chair and watching a football game on a giant TV. She titled it “Dallas Cowboys — Yea!” See photo below.]

It’s noon now and we are on temporary lock-down. In another part of this prison unit, Gigi is being stripped of his clothes and put into the van that will take him to the Walls Unit. I have thought about that ride before, if it goes to that point. I get really nauseated any time that I ride in a vehicle. The motion always gets me but I have told myself that this time it is going to be different. Although I will be shackled from ankles to waist and wrist, I am going to enjoy the freedom. On the 29th of June, when I was taken back to the courthouse for my execution date to be scheduled, I rode in the cargo area of a van and was escorted by several armed guards. I was shackled but when we got to Houston, we were caught in heavy traffic. For moments at a time, I felt the world next to me. What I mean is that because the vehicle’s windows were dark, nobody could see me. I watched as people went on with their day. As I watched, a lady reprimanded her children. A couple conversed. She kept putting her hand on him in a tender way, and on the street several kids chased a dog while an elderly pair looked on. I felt unshackled at times.

The cellblock officer only now knocked rudely on the Plexiglas and has me back in this place. The officer wanted to know if I was OK. What?!!! Since when do they care? They don’t. I am on 30-minute watch. I am within seven days of my execution so they must check on me.

Late entry: A ranking officer came to ask if I wanted to speak to the Associated Press. I was angry and told him to leave. I now regret not speaking to the media; I should have gone out to speak to them. I was boneheaded, I know.

Called out to Joe B. earlier to ask what time it was. It was 5:49, only 11 minutes till 6 o’clock. In a week’s time, I will know my outcome for certain. I do hold out hope. I want so bad to say a lot about my legal situation because the anxiety is making me very restless, but I have to remain confident in my legal team, Richard Ellis and Tina Church. I met Richard through Tina and met Tina through George Cordova. That was years ago. Both have become friends to me.  

The Dallas Cowboys -- yea!


One Response to “DAY 083: I felt the world next to me…I felt unshackled”

  1. Françoise Says:

    Moving back to your past, I realize even more strongly how all this period of uncertainty and waiting must have been terrifying, dear Roy. Thanks to God, it is behind you. You wan some months more.

    Today, I will leave you with Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher (1788-1860) : “The essential for life happiness is what we have inside ourselves.” Carrissimi saluti,

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