DAY 065: I had expected my brother, but he won’t show now

October 25, 2009 | Saturday

EARLY MORNING. It is quiet, but that is due more to being locked down than to anything else. All sorts of rumors are flying around. However, most rumors cannot be believed. I have heard that we are off statewide lock-down and this would mean that prison routines will be back to normal in a few days. I was speaking to Salazar about it. Yes, we even speak now. We should never have had problems in the past. I am going to write a legal letter for him to an organization that I hope may help him. Scooter told me abut an organization that was looking into his case. He reached out to this organization too late in time and obviously, it did not help him. Salazar still has months before his execution date. I hope they may help him. I only now found out that visits are still suspended, so we are still on lock-down. I had expected my brother but he won’t show for certain now. Just another day on Death Row.


30 Responses to “DAY 065: I had expected my brother, but he won’t show now”

  1. Tina Church Says:

    We are still here fighting the beast–everything that the itty bitty shitty committee could muster up tried, but we have overcome~~~~~keep praying.

    Hug ya,


  2. Rhianon Says:

    Roy, i miss you, i ache for you. I love you roy, i love you so much. Rhianon. Xx

  3. Rhianon Says:

    Roy, im sitting here thinking about you and i just glanced out of the window and saw a shooting star. Love you so very much. Rhianon. Xx

  4. corina Says:

    I finally got my mom to read your story. She hadn’t had access to your blog, but now I fixed her internet connection. She now sees how you have influenced my sister and I.
    I still pray and think of you daily. Hold strong. I wish I knew way to help you get out of lockdown and so you could have your stamps back. I’m going to find a way to help, somehow.
    Keep your head up. Don’t give up hope. “Quidate amigo”. Corina

  5. Art Taylor Says:

    Hello Roy
    Stay strong brother the itty bitty shitty committee is the weaker link in this chain God is the master link and He alone is in control. We continue to pray for you and let God guide you and keep you strong on this journey. Your friend.

  6. Françoise Says:

    You are an example for us, Roy, always positive and able to forget about old disagreements. Making the “public writer” for your cellmates.
    I am really sorry that you weren’t able to see your brother. You must have felt very disappointed.
    Thinking of you, as one of my family. Love

  7. Adela Says:

    I just want to Thank Everyone that is my uncle roys life. You all are such a blessing, and good friends. Thank you for everything that you are doing for him.

  8. Carmen Says:

    Estimado Amigo!
    I just received your letter and card. Never give up! We are with you all the time and we won’t give up either. And, yes, I promise, I will teach you German. -smile
    Con un carinoso y fuerte abrazo!
    Carmen and Michael

  9. Margaret & Jean-François Says:

    Dear Roy,
    we don’t know each other “really”, but you have become very close and familiar to us through your blog. Isabelle – she and Jean-Maurice are longtime-friends, we love them very much! – had given us the address, and we have read all the 65 days… We are deeply moved and touched by all your notes – and the answers of all your friends. We would like to join them and send you our support too, from all our heart! We admire your strength and feel with you.- What a terrible, unacceptable,inhuman system is the deathpenalty!- You are in our hearts, thoughts & prayers, dear friend!Bon courage! God bless you! Warmly, Margaret & Jean-François

  10. Lukas Says:

    Many people just don’t understand that no matter how horrific the sins of a single person, there is always hope for them to be in God’s hands once again. I have a close family friend that was imprisoned here in Australia for the murder of his wife. Every time I mentioned him, people would condemn him. He had repented for his sins, yet he will still feel the pain of what he did for the rest of his life.
    I have been reading your story and it saddens me that someone who has truly asked for God’s forgiveness must still experience these things.
    You have our love and support, and we hope that God does all in his power to show you his love.


  11. R. Bridges Says:

    You’ll be in my prayers no doubt….I will also pray for your family God Bless You

  12. Fiona Says:

    hello, i am in australia. i just read an article on you and how you write letters from your cell.
    i think the death penalty is so so wrong. i think all sins can be forgiven with time.
    how can someone be given the chance to prove they have changed if they just get executed?
    its so stupid.
    i will keep reading your letters. hopefully there are more and arnt cut short.
    thinking of you.

  13. Trish Taylor Says:

    Dear Roy.
    Well I don’t know you and you don’t know me. I am from way down under in NZ. I have just read an article about you on our local news website
    Mate, I am sitting here not really knowing what to say but I just wanted to let you know how far your news is travelling and that there are alot of people you don’t know thinking and praying for you. I have just been reading your diary and wow. You have some really true freinds out there. Please hold that as tight and as close as you can to your heart. Miracles do happen and I hope one happens for you. Will be watching and reading with interest. Tonnes and tonnes of luck for a stay – my unhnown friend.
    Love and huge hugs from Trish, Auckland New Zealand.

  14. Luke Cross Says:

    Your story and blog has made it to Australia. I read your first few days, and then skipped to you most recent when it began to wiegh heavily on me.

    People make mistakes in life, and a testament to thier character is what people choose to do with those mistakes. Clearly, as a boy who had no High School education, and made a horrific, terrible decision (I would call it a mistake, but as my wife says, its not like you stubbed your toe on the bedpost), you have grown into a well read, intelligent and kind hearted man.

    Im not the best person to talk to about faith, as mine has been through all stages (Strong as Steel, Weak as Spider’s Silk), but it is my belief that once you accept the truth of Christ in your heart, you are forgiven forever and always. You’ve come to this truth, and you’ve accepted your early decision in life, owned it, and allowed it to make you a better man.

    I find it ironic that you were put on death row for killing another murderer (In self defense?). The American justice system baffles me. The first thing I learnt as a parent of 2 year old boy is smacking him for hitting his one year old sister is jsut gonna teach him to hit more. Punishing bad behaviour by displaying the very behaviour you are tyring to punish… Does no-one see the irony there?

    To Juan (Forgive me if I got your name wrong, im horrible at remembering, and I dont want to go back and lose the post :P), you’ve done a major thing with this blog. As mentioned, it’s reached news here in Australia, so you have brought your friends story to the entire world.

    To Tina Church, I admire you and the life you live. I only wish I had freedom of finances to devote my time to those who need it the most. Although, I’d probably be more judgemental than you are :S

    I’ll come back in a few days, maybe catch up on the days I skipped, but most definetly I’d like to “Be with you” as the final countdown begins. Just know, you did a bad thing when you were a different person. The life you live now has been shaped by your decision to become a better person. And for that, you have a legion of well-wishers world wide.

  15. J.Harffey Says:

    I personally dont believe in God, but I will send every positive thought possible and every wish to the heavens that you get a stay!
    Also sending my love to you and your family.

    Hope its ok, but I posted a link to this site on Facebook for other people to read and hopefully, get to know you.
    P.S. Who’s your fav fantasy author!?

  16. ALISHA WOOD Says:

    i started reading your journal and couldn’t stop until i read all of it. i didnt know wiether to cry or not. with so many friends lost i do wonder how you stay so strong. keep on going.

    never think u r a monster cause u r not u may have made some bad mistakes in ur life but everybody does and does’nt need to punnished their whole life for it.

    i was saddened to hear that ur mum has passed. i hope u got to say good bye. family memories are the best memories, never forget.
    but then i smile to hear that u got to hear ur favourite game on the radio.

    thank you for sharing your life with all of us we will never fully know what u have gone through and u have taught us so much. i will never forget you or what you have gone through

  17. Kat Briggs Says:

    Dear Roy,
    I dont know you, but since reading your first entry this morning i haven’t been able to stop until i had read them all. I do hope there will be more very soon.
    While reading them i have laughed and i have cried and im amazed by your spirit and also by the overwhelming surroprt of your dear friends and family. They are lucky to know a man like yourself and you are lucky to have such wonderful people in your life.
    I will be praying for you and your family and friends, and i know god loves you..
    Thankyou so much for sharing your experiences with the world
    Much Love from Australia,
    Kat =)

  18. Melinda Edwards Says:

    Dear Roy,

    I read your story from a news article this morning on the web (when I was meant to be working – whoops!) It is now the end of the day, and I have finished reading all of your blogs. Mind you, I haven’t got much work done today, however I am sure that I have learnt a far more valuable life lesson from your teachings.

    I would just like to sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart, for impressing upon me the importance of these things that so much of us take for granted. You have reminded me to be present in every moment, tolove without reservation or hesitation, and to forgive easily.

    I have to admit, prior to reading your blogs, I did not have much of an oppinion on the death penalty. In all honesty, I wasn’t necessarily against it either, mainly justified because of the way the media can construe people to be monsters. However, after reading your letters, I truely know you do not belong in there. It saddens me deeply thinking of your situation. And that I can’t do anything to help, apart from thinking of you, and sending out my best wishes.

    I truely believe that, eventually, you will be freed. In any manner that you need to be. You are such a remarkable person to take your circumstances, and to live each day in such a positive light. If only the whole world could live just a little bit more like you. What a place it would be to live in!

    You have turned my thinking around. You have opened my mind. And you have inspired me to live on a whole other playing field. You are truely loved more than you could ever know. Please trust that, your story is being circulated around the world. And with positive energy and thoughts, it will get into the hands of the right people. I dare say everyone who reads this will be impacted, in some way or another.

    Thank you for sharing your story. Where other men would be defeated, you are standing strong, and everything can be taken away from you except for that. You are a hero.

  19. Leon M Says:

    Hi There,

    I’d have to say that you’re story is one which is touching – and a shocking way to highlight the injustice of the American system. You’re story has now reached New Zealand, and it’s making news here.

    It’s obvious you’ve grown a lot since you commited those acts, which don’t get me wrong, are horrible and deserve punishment. How someone can be punished 11 years after the crime, is what I can injustice. The level of the punishment, is what I call injustice. You’re an incredible person and tell an incredible story, your memories will live on and like me, I’m there are a lot of other people out there who will be touched by your battle.

    Thank god I live in New Zealand, this just sums up what I dislike about America.

    God Bless, Leon

  20. Isabelle Says:

    Dear Friends from OZ and down under NZ, so far away, you just have no idea how your words touched me and did me good. Smiles and tears (they can be good too!) Very soon I will be visiting with Rogelio and tell him of all your comments, thoughts and good wishes for him. This is priceless and will help him keep his head up always. Thank you very much to all from everywhere who read his letters and shared their thoughts.

  21. Rochelle Says:

    I am another New Zealander who read of this in the news and became captivated by what I found on this website. I read all of these blogs with a very heavy heart and tears in my eyes. I know that your writing will make a difference, Roy. It is something very unique and very special. It has the power to make change. I congratulate you on your strength of character and I thank you for opening my mind. I am sorry for the horror you must endure, I pray you get to see next season of the Cowboys and every season after!
    Love to you and to the ones you hold dear. You are all so strong. xx

  22. Carolina Castro Says:

    It’s really unexplainable the feeling of reading posts from someone who is so nearly to death. i’m totally again’st death sentences and i’m sad for your destiny. but either, you have did some wrong things. i read that before you killed your roommate, you have killed other people too (is it true?)

    but either, what touched me the most was when you said that you missed rock’n roll. I think you people won’t pass this to him because of what i wrote about the murderes, but i would like him to know that when i read his posts, i think of “stay free”, from the clash.

    carol (sorry for the bad english, i’m from brazil)

  23. Mariana Snyders Says:

    Dear Roy,
    I am sitting in South Africa with one wish in my heart. That is to be there with you and give you a big hug. I came apon your blog by accident and read every entry. How strong you are. My heart goes out to you, your loved ones and the inmates that have to go through this. Tonight I will do something that I never do. I will go on my knees and pray for all the condemned as I’ve never prayed before. Your story have touched my heart and soul and will live forever in everybody that read it. Keep your faith in God and you will be safe forever.

  24. Rachel Says:

    Hi Roy,

    I’m another Aussie who read your story in the news here and came to your site. I sat here yesterday and read all your blogs (whilst bouncing 6 month old baby on my lap & having 2 year old throwing toys at me :), but I needed to absorb everything I’d read before I could sit down and leave you a response.

    Thank you for this rare insight into your life. Your words have reached all across the world and touched so many people. I really hope that you continue this, as you are putting a much needed ‘human face’ to your situation.

    My personal belief is that no matter what the circumstances are, nobody has the right to take another human life, so to me, the death penalty is crazy because it is punishing a crime with the exact same crime. As I wrote on your petition – I wonder how God weighs execution against murder?

    For such a developed country, I can’t believe how archaic the USA is in it’s ‘justice’ system. I’m incredulous that they can actually find people to carry out their ‘justice’.

    Please know that I’ll be thinking about you and watching your situation in the coming days.


  25. David Says:



    That is all I can say after just reading a large portion of your site.


    This is some heavy stuff. I’m surprised that you manage to keep your head up.. Extraordinary stuff…

    Best of luck.


  26. Kati Bishop Says:

    Dear Roy, Wow your blogs are really something. Im in Australia and I am so glad we dont have the death penalty here. I dont believe in God but I will send you every ounce of good thoughts I have. Stay strong dude, stay strong.
    kind thoughts

  27. Elizabeth Tamayo Says:

    Hi its me Tia Liz John Rays aunt. I love you and we are praying for you. We are holding a rosary for you on Tuesday November 18, You will be surprised how many people have responded. I had an article about it on the Valley Morning Star, I also received a card from a lady in Crystal City Texas who said she was going to be praying with us three hundred miles away in Crystal City Texas, her name is Carmen Garcia. You have alot of people out here praying for you we all have the same powerful lawyer fighting for you, our Lord Jesus Christ! You are an amazing kid and loved and cared by so many people.

  28. Françoise Says:

    Since I opened your last entries, dearest Roy, I haven’t been able to stop crying. I cried and cried and cried …. on my PC keyboard (Only for you, Roy because I know that you love joking : I think it will be completely ruined ! ).

    Welcome to all of you, to the new ones joining Rogelio’s hard world who made me cry! As Isabelle says, tears of emotionSuch a pleasure to find you so numerous on this “Journal”. Entering Rogelio’s life is an incredible, important, terrible, rich and beautiful experience. And so deeply human.
    All these new friends, from allover the World : Brazil, South Africa, New Zealand and Australia and other. Australia is so far away. You know that for us leaving in Switzerland, Australia is just the perfect opposite point on the World Globe?
    They all are so far away and at the same time so near from Isabelle and me, Roy, through the nice and warm thoughts they are sending to you. One will never enough tell about the Power of Love and Friendship. Like a huge bird, love is flying all around the Globe, spreading a rain of thousands of stars illuminating us.Thank you to all of you
    Much love to you, dear Rogelio. In prayers with you. Your friend, fanfan

  29. Andie Turmine Says:

    I’m unsure what to write here, I can hardly see the screen for tears. I’m here in Australia, and like so many messages above, your story has reached deep into my heart. I have read your entire blog – I will never eat ice-cream again without thinking of you, and instead of listening to the rain on my roof top, I will sit out in it, and watch it for you.

    You are an amzing person Roy, simply amazing. Stay strong, hold your head high and know that there are many many people around the world thinking of you and praying for you. I will be praying for you, for your family…for a stay.

    Much love to you Rogelio, and your dear friends and loved ones.
    Andie xx

  30. David Says:

    Another Aussie checking in!

    Words aren’t really enough to express anything right now after reading up to this entry over the last three days. Myself and a handful of godly young people from our church are praying for you every single day now. When I come to that at the start of the day each time I’ve ended up finding myself kneeling on the floor in tears. Based on the way you talk about God, a couple of our little prayer group even think you would be an awesome pastor.

    Three terrorists who attacked a whole bunch of people including a lot of Australians a few years ago were executed in Indonesia about a week ago. I personally know two people who were injured on that horrific October night six years ago, and that combined with your blog has shown me personally that the death penalty only makes things worse for everybody involved. Victims, supposed perpetrators, people in the system, people across the nation and across the world are all victims every time some judge decides any person’s life is not valued by God. My two friends most of all are angry they never got a chance to forgive those who attacked them.

    “Keep on dreaming of the day when it all will change. Believe in the end, love wins.” – Robbie Seay Band

    Much love, much hope and much prayer for you Rogelio
    (Adelaide, South Australia – a twin city of Austin TX!)

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