DAY 057: He put his hands on the bars and began to sob

October 17, 2008 | Friday

MID-AFTERNOON. It was only days ago that I spoke of suicide attempts. This morning started like any other lock,-down day. Everybody ready to shower. During showers, an officer glanced into George (Gigi) Whitaker’s cell and ran off. I am not exactly sure what he has done to himself, but Gigi has been taken to medical, or to the psych ward. I think that he lost control. Last night Stein was executed and Gigi was Stein’s neighbor. You can imagine that they spoke often, shared food and grew on each other that quick, considering the circumstances. They have known each other for years, but I doubt they were ever as close as they became in these past days.

I almost wrote about Gigi a week ago. Days ago, I stood at my door waiting for mail to be handed out. Gigi was in the recreation cage when he was given his mail and I just happened to see that he opened one of his letters and began to read it. I turned to see if the officer passing out the mail came my way but he was not near. I looked back at Gigi as he put his letter down. He walked quickly to the bars opposite of where this cell is. I watched as he put his hands on the bars and began to sob. I just stood there. I felt numb.


5 Responses to “DAY 057: He put his hands on the bars and began to sob”

  1. Ann Chapman Says:

    My dear Rogelio, you have given us all the great gift of this journal. I hope you realize how important it is, how much you are teaching us, how much we appreciate your being in our lives. I believe your journal will be more important than you could ever have dreamed when you began it. You will always be with us, and we with you.



  2. corina Says:

    Hola Rogelio, No pierdas la fe. Sigue rezando. I pray for you everyday and for your friends that you have lost. Please keep writing.
    That tightness, in your chest, I’m sure you know what it is. But don’t be afraid, God is with you. Corina

  3. Françoise Says:

    I share Ann’s comment. Rogelio’s journal will remain a unique and strong story, an account of what shouldn’t exist anymore. God will judge us at the end, all of us, and not only the desperate ones sobbing behind the bars, like lost children. Because He knows and He loves his children.
    Hold out, Rogelio, God loves you, we love you and we pray Him for you.
    Un abbraccio.

  4. Kiki Says:

    AMEN to the above…. Rogelio, we are with you in our thoughts, prayers and the hope to communicate much longer with you! It’s Tuesday the 18th and I simply CANNOT believe that your life is going to end tomorrow…. I am in denial too!!!!
    God bless, Kiki

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