Day 040: A football season I may not be around to see

September 30, 2008 | Tuesday

WAS OUTSIDE ONLY minutes ago. It was cold out there. Winter’s chilly weather is already sneaking into autumn’s time, and I stuck out there too! 🙂 Joe B. was out there, walking triangular circles.

The Cowboys lost this past Sunday. Not sure why I should mention that they lost. They play again next week and another game the following week. Another football season will be played next year, a football season I may not be around to see.

The days are growing shorter.So much happens and it seems that a lot passes me by. What should I write about? Fifty days before my execution date arrives. I am beginning to see the world through other men’s eyes. Other men who came before me and lived this experience.  Some made it past their execution dates. Some did not, but I think that at some point all of them felt about the coming execution date as I have. Wonder. I wonder. Whatever happens will be decided by the courts. So there is the uncertainty too, but God’s will shall come to pass. I can only pray for his favor, smile and walk along. 

What matters? I am fortunate to have friends in Isabelle and Juan. Everybody should be lucky enough to have an Isa or Juan in his life. I have both. And I have Rhianon, who loves me too. More immediately, I have Jose Briseno to hang out with. 

A tour is coming through. These all look like regular Joes and Janes. I just now walked away from the door. Very funny. I was standing at the door watching them. Three women stood far enough from the cells that they saw me, and an officer pointed at the empty cells around me. One of the women commented, “Oh, a shy one.” I walked away from the door.

It’s night and I am about to call it a day, but before I do, just one last entry. Got to see Alvin Kelly today. Alvin prayed for me and we talked for a while. He is going to be executed. I know that may sound strange . . . to even say it, but if you stood here as I do and looked into that man’s eyes as I have, somehow I know. Alvin Kelly and I stand looking at the same horizon from within this world gone mad. Or maybe it’s just me.

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5 Responses to “Day 040: A football season I may not be around to see”

  1. Sr Ruth Evans Says:

    Dear Rogelio,
    You are in our thoughts and prayers. It is disgraceful that there are tours, that strangers come and stare at you. I am reading the journal and hoping Jesus will bring you his peace and strength.
    God bless you,
    Sr Ruth

  2. Art Taylor Says:

    Hello Roy
    I know through God’s strength Roy you will come out the other side victoriously. You are always in my prayers.
    Art

  3. Isabelle Says:

    Dearest Rogelio 🙂 such touching words you have for Juan and me… thank you Buddy. I hope you know how lucky I feel to have you as a friend too.
    About these tours… What sort of desolate and empty life these people must have to take part in such a farce ? No, it’s not shyness you showed to this woman, it is dignity.

  4. Rhianon Says:

    Roy, you know that you have my heart completly, I love you more than words can say. Rhianon. xx

  5. Françoise Says:

    Dear Rogelio, again a very strong and heartrending letter.
    Even if we try to remain positive and full of hope, this countdown is running. And these two standing men, staring at each other know it.
    But again, you choose the right solution: you looked at your life and saw what was positive and wonderful in it : having friends you can rely on, a woman who loves you, and leaving it to God’s will and love.
    I wish you serene days and hope in the future.
    With love

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