DAY 037: I’ll never give up

September 27, 2008 | Saturday

IT’S PAST NOON and I have been standing at the cell door speaking to Eric Nenno. Interesting conversation… See if I can describe him accurately. He’s about 40 years old. Really pale from lack of sun and he shaves his head bald. Has no hair on his chest and, well… he looks like a bald chicken that could glow in the dark! 🙂

I like Nenno because if you repeat his name twice and really fast, it sounds funny. Recall Mork from the 80s show, Mork and Mindy?  NennoNenno. Try it! I don’t ever call him by anything other than NennoNenno, and he doesn’t mind at all. Sometimes he even laughs.

The section speaker has just come on. It’s the center control advising me that I have a visit tonight. I’ve been expecting my brothers Victor and Bob. I sat and hung out (visited) with Victor only two months ago, but Bob, who is closer to my age (he’s only four years older), I have not seen in 18 years! In the past I never understood why he kept away, never wrote. I know it’s been a combination of things, but I also realize that he can’t stand knowing where I am. Worse for him is to see me here (my life threatened) and can’t fight anybody about it. He was always a big boy and fought for me when we were kids. All my siblings haven’t been as close to me as Juan and Isa, although I know they love me just as much. 

I know it’s not only on them that we haven’t been as close, and maybe it’s a good thing otherwise I may have worried myself into an early grave or lost my sanity. I know they love me in their own way. I’m the youngest, so they all saw me grow up, as opposed to me only looking up to them from time to time. We fought as brothers often do but afterwards I stood up, dusted myself off, talked trash and ran to my sister (I shall return! – General MacArthur!). In my pea-sized little brain, I didn’t give up. Throughout all these years, I’ve carried my brothers’ influence, unconsciously, including Juan Palomo — Juanski Life has dealt me dirt but I’ve stood up, dusted myself off and kept on walking. If any of you read this, I’ll never give up, bro, no matter the situation. Just know that.


4 Responses to “DAY 037: I’ll never give up”

  1. Christiane Bitz Says:

    Always so much emotion to read your words… Know that with you, we never never give up ! We are by your sides every day.
    Love and prayers

  2. Isabelle Says:

    I know you will never give up, Buddy, nor will I and many around us too. We all love you, Rogelio, each in our own way. Love can be silent, it can be expressed in words or thoughts or prayers. In letters. Never doubt you are loved by all those close to you no matter how they express it. We love you.

  3. Françoise Says:

    Reading this « Day 37 » let me almost without any voice, totally amazed.
    At the beginning of October, with two girl friends of our Italian reading group, we went to see a very original theater spectacle, created and performed, between other interprets, by Erri de Luca, an author we met through one of the monthly readings of our group. This writer is much involved in several important causes in different countries (have a look on the net: Erri de Luca, “Quichotte and the Invincibles” (or irreducible ?) (based on the original work of the Spanish writer Miguel de Cervantès, 1547-1616, you surely know him, Rogelio, don’t you?).

    Here is the lighting Erri de Luca is giving us, as preamble to his spectacle:
    “Invincible, Quichotte who never wan, never pull it off ? For us who are here tonight, for us who are just passing through, the invincibles are not the one who are always on the highest step of the podium, difficult place to keep for a long time. At the end, sooner or later, they will knock you down from there. But the invincibles are the one who do not let things get them down, who do not give up, neither let themselves push back by any defeat and who, after a failure, are ready to stand up straight and to fight again. Quichotte, who is picking himself up from knocks and dust, ready for the next adventure, is invincible”.

    This similarity with the last eight lines written by our dear Rogelio is very amazing!
    Thank you, Roy, for this amusing *NennoNenno*, for this new entry full of tenderness, of family records. Again, you are giving us, if necessary, a new proof of your strong determination and courage. YOU are invincible, Roy.
    With love

  4. Kiki Says:

    Love can be so many things…. but it is love all the same!
    I know of people personally who claim they ‘love’ and one wouldn’t ever think they are even capable of spelling the word but there you go…. never judge a book from the outside!
    I recognise so many encounters in what you write, Rogelio that it makes me nearly shudder… And I understand – best would be that your brothers understand you too and that you can get together and tell each other of the love you have for each other, even if it might be hidden under many layers.
    Nothing is as important and great in life as love…. that’s not a title of a romantic novel, it’s the plain and simple truth.
    I am not a bible quoter but that is what it says there too…. And the bible is usually right, no? 😉
    LOVE to you, buckets full of it!

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